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transgender charm

by elliott marigold

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1.
whenever we're together, i don't want to be together. just leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone. whenever you call me, i turn off my phone. just leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone! what don't you understand? just leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone. just leave me alone, leave me alone. just leeeeave meeeeee alooone le le le Hey hEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY leave me alone. just leave me alone (i hones......t...ly....) just, leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeave me alone (i saaaaid fucfuofffffmannn) leave me alone leeeaave me alone, i don't wanna be bothered by you. i never wanted to be bothered. (please leave me alone) i never wanted to be bothered. i never wanted this, leave me alone. i don't want to be bothered by you, anymore. i want to be left alone i want to be left alone don't talk to me, and don't call me on my phone, i want to be left alone. don't call me on my phone, leave me alone.
2.
there is lotion on the ground, lotion on the ground somebody spilled it all why is there lotion on the ground? why does lotion spill everywhere? who spilled all this lotion? who spilled all this lotion? somebody who is not satisfied, with the fact that the world is dry someone who is unsatisfied with the fact that the world is dry they tried to fix it, they tried to fix it, but now it’s a huge mess they tried to fix it, they really, they tried. but now i’m slipping, i’m losing touch, with reality. i’m losing touch, i’m losing touch, with reality. and i slipped backwards, i slipped backwards, and cracked my head open. i slipped backwards, yeah i slipped backwards. cause the lotion cover the world (x3) it's a huge mess lotion covered the world (x3) it’s a a huge mess
3.
you regurgitate opinions that you hear on npr, and you like to give me shit about the things i love. it’s easy for you, because you have no hobbies. your favorite thing to do is to tear down walls, but you’d never admit to it because you’re a male feminist. you excuse yourself from the shitty things you do, because you’re a male feminist. there’s nothing wrong with you, we’re all too sensitive. you’re a perfect specimen, we’re all too sensitive. you’re so brilliant. and you’re just misunderstood. your life must be so hard
4.
the rainbow 01:32
there are only as many colors in the rainbow as you notice so it's not my problem if you can't acknowledge my existence i'm not going to change my colors to become more real to you, i've been here for over 20 years & if you still can't see me, fuck you!!!!! just open your eyes, add more color to the sky. just open your eyes, add more color to the sky.
5.
i'm not worth your trouble, i'm not worth your time, i'm a man that nobody recognizes. i'm a big mess, and i'm a gender confusion, every time i try to do something it doesn't work. i feel like i'm a mess, i feel like a huge burden, i don't want to spend any time outside of my house. i think that i should off myself, and find a new reason to not keep living my days. but i know that suicide is rather selfish, and i wouldn't want to do that to my friends. so instead of killing myself, i purposefully withdraw. i'll put myself in the back of a room. and if i'm lucky, i'll never speak again. i'll just disappear into the night.
6.
smdjc 02:25
suck my dick, jesus christ i'll suck yours if you suck mine it's not weird, i just want to praise you you died for my sins in the most brutal way so sucking dick is the very least i can do every day i sit and wonder how i can improve our relationship i read in a men's magazine that sucking dick does wonders so if you want to take me up on the offer just come down to my bedroom i'll be there, ready to consent (repent!) suck my dick, jesus christ i'll suck yours if you suck mine it's not weird, i just want to praise you
7.
i feel like i’ve been pushed onto a stage with a microphone shoved right beneath my face they asked me hey ELLIOTT do you know what you’ll do and i said i have no idea but i can play the uke and it’s the only thing that makes me smile so i think i’ll do this for awhile they said that’s really great but why not a guitar i said what do you mean this is my favorite thing they said guitars praise praise praise praise praise ukuleles derogatory comment no that’s your opinion please keep it to yourself the uke is built for people big and small amanda palmer played it at 35 joni mitchell started at fourteen and tiny tim played until he died and so i’d imagine i’ve got some time
8.
says elliott 02:05
I grow old I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled says Elliot I grow old I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled says Elliot days keep growing short, nights too let us go then, you and I and try to unlearn, says Elliot he seeks for return and burns ancient love letters let us go then you and I and lie by marble stone says Elliot and put a record on the gramophone Lie down dear on the weed Don't weep dear gayly clad sadness is a radical quantity says Elliot sadness is a long brown ribbon, says he sadness is beautiful I grow old I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled says Elliot I grow old I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled says Elliot
9.
i don't believe that anyone has a good sense of direction all the streets look the same and all the towns share the same name everyone is predisposed to a mountain of confusion people are predisposed to being really confused all the streets look the same and all the towns share the same name all the streets look the same and all the towns share the same name it's a miracle i get around it's a miracle we're all on time it's a miracle we get along and it's a miracle we get around

credits

released October 20, 2017

recorded & produced on my bedroom floor in minneapolis

track 8 is originally by sibylle baier (inspired by ts eliot)

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Diet Eugene Minneapolis, Minnesota

something ungrounded

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